The DQ of Amherst College

Katie Pedersen ’19

Legend tells of a utopian land somewhere in Massachusetts. Somewhere where women can live freely, openly, and gracefully without fear of being put down by jealous and insecure men with no talent. That place is the one and only Wellesley. From the ranks of these women, one rose above them all: the other girls could only bow beneath her towering soprano notes and fearless leadership. Her name is Katie Pederson. Katie had always been fed up with the patriarchy. From an early age, she had been encouraged to grow to her fullest potential, but was frustrated to see that women from other places could not do the same. Her parents’ mantra constantly rang in her head: “See the world, Katie. Make a difference.” At the age of 18, under the coercion of her friends and admirers all around Wellesley, she resolved to take action.

She gathered her Wellesley friends to plan a worldwide rebellion. Using her superhuman hiking abilities, she climbed the highest mountains and traversed the toughest rivers, till she arrived at Williams, where she met with her twin brother. Together, with her brother’s fighting skills and Katie’s powerful high notes, they freed women across the globe from the oppressive rule of Mediocrity, giving them the ability to flourish and grow their talents to near-superhuman levels.

The Wellesley Women continued their revolution until the tragic day when, while on vacation in Chautauqua, New York, they were infiltrated by the FBI. A massive coup d’etat occurred and the entire army was killed, including Katie’s twin brother. With his dying words, Katie’s brother said “Go to Amherst. There….you will find allies.” Katie now takes refuge singing in DQ within the safe haven of Amherst College, where her warm smile, fearless charisma, and Rapunzel-esque hair has already granted her new allies in her endless fight to allow women to flourish.