The DQ of Amherst College

Katherine Santisi ’18

Some might call Katherine Santisi of Boston, MA a hero. She disagrees with this. She prefers the term legend. She once saved a small village in the Amazon basin from meltwater torrent using a single toothpick and a bottle of moisturizer. She conditions with water. Her hobbies include oil painting, skydiving, and Russian Ballet – simultaneously. Her morning breath smells like rosewater with a tinge of honey. She bowls 300. When she was eight, she went outside for a light jog and became the first woman to win the Tri-state Marathon. She can tread water indefinitely. In 1920 she founded DQ, but is not a day older than 21. She has scaled mountains, played the electric bass for a stadium of millions, and launched her own line of adult coloring books. Bigfoot spreads myths about her. She vacations to Northern China, where she runs covert operations with the CIA to rescue pandas from deadly predators. Her lyrical soprano voice has been known to woo both men and small baby turtles alike. She has sung with Johnny Cash, swam with Michael Phelps, and taught Gordon Ramsay a few choice swear words. But she has not yet sung acapella. The DQ is lucky to have her.